I don't understand why governments don't have the walnuts to grant, ensure, and protect civil rights. It seems like a no brainer.

It doesn't make sense to take civil rights to popular vote. If that had happened with the extension of voting rights or other marital rights it would have been voted down any number of times before a majority of voters was ok with extending humanity. Civil rights are about humanity and human dignity. When voters choose to strike down civil rights, they are making a vote out of fear and hatred. It's pretty much the most self-righteous and unrighteous decision possible; there is nothing right about it.

I become really angry when people bring The Bible or Christianity (or any religion, really) into it. Separation of Church and State should guarantee that religion is not an adequate basis for denying civil rights. And, fine you want 'Jesus' brought into it, Jesus would not be pleased.

Today, like in November, I feel a bit of queer shame. However, I am more ashamed of my fellow humans who don't think that I deserve the same rights as them.

My lj has become a pit of doom. Maybe I am depressed. I'm not sure.

On Wednesday evening I was walking home from the bus stop. It was early, not yet 8pm, and I was on the way to my 'house dinner' or I would have walked all the way from the station.

As I walked down the street, a man called out to me "hey, beautiful." I said "hello" and kept walking. In my neighbourhood it's better to acknowledge the harrassment or else they will follow you for blocks, yelling out stuff. He guy tried to start a conversation but I was walking and not interested in engaging with him. He asked me out for a drink I said "No". I kept walking. Finally, I was at the place where I needed to cross the road. I had to wait for some cars to go past. He grabbed me. I was standing there trying to get home and this guy in his 50s had both of his hands around my arms, holding me there. He was trying to offer me a 'job'. Something about him owning the cafe down the street and I should stop by at 6am the next morning and he will give a job. I kept saying "No. Sorry. I'm not interested." But the guy wouldn't let go of me. I kept thinking, 'I am a block from my house, if I make a big scene he will follow me home, and then he will know where I live." Instead, I finally said "ok." He released me and I ran across the street.

What makes me the angriest about the whole thing is that my responses were tempered by how I perceived the outcomes. Yelling at him was more dangerous. I had a heavy (20lb) knapsack on so I couldn't really kick him, and my laptop was in my bag so I was also worried about that. The truth is that we're not safe and that men can act like this, and because they have more force and are stronger we can't even exert our own strength without putting ourselves at further risk.

I need to get my hair coloured in the next couple of weeks. The drastic blonde that it is right now is killing my hair. It's dull, frizzy and lifeless. I need to change it up and I've decided that I really love this colour, which would work well with my skin tone and features.

ps. Please ignore the hideous outfit in the image.

( Read more... )

I wrote this in an email this morning:
"Once I get better I will have an entire week of events planned once I am better and various people are promising lots of fun once I am better."

Hmmm, still sick I think!

Those of you on Facebook will already know this but to the rest of you: I have swine flu.

It sucks. I feel terrible. I was diagnosed on Tuesday morning and because I am in the 'high-risk'/underlying health issues category (damn you thyroid, you win every time) I was given a prescription for Tamiflu, the swine flu antiviral.

I am quarantined at home and it looks like I will be spending my birthday here, alone, sick with swine flu. Can I start to feel sorry for myself now?

The symptoms of swine flu are similar to the ordinary flu except the fever hasn't broke in 3 days. The sore throat was the first symptom but it morphed into the fever. I have no appetite, occasionally get the chills, I have a cough and runny nose (although this seems to be a lot better than yesterday). I was feeling so poorly that I did not have any caffeine for more than 2 days. That's right. The last time this happened was when I had my appendicitis last summer.

I have been spending most of my time sleeping. I was strong enough to stand up long enough to have a shower and I felt very accomplished after that. It was like 'Yay!!! My hair is no longer dreading!!! I don't smell anymore!!!" I don't have the energy for knitting or reading yet but I'm hoping that tomorrow will be better.

My stomach is flipping. OMG this is nerve wracking. I keep thinking about all of the holes in my analysis and all of the things that the examiners might ask (e.g., why not conversation analysis, why not sociology of deviance, why not form, what about new media approaches). I'm worrying about the 'story' that I have to tell and that maybe it's not strong enough. In fact, I am starting to worry that there is no story. I am worried about failing. I am worried about everything. Oh goodness, oh goodness. Today is judgement day!

Those are my teeth.

My viva is tomorrow at 2pm. I am so scared. I have been procrasinating. I look at my thesis and there are fine little arguments but I can't even remember the metanarrative at this point. I'm almost sick.

People keep telling me that they know it will be fine and that I will do well but I am so worried that I am going to fail.

I almost lost my leg today.

I was racing to catch the tube. I heard the bell ring. And then I fell.

My entire left leg fell between the platform and the train. My butt was on the platform. It was a crowded train luckily. A man stopped the doors from closing entirely. And then they went to close again and he did the same thing. Another man waved for the attention of the driver who stopped the train. I was able to yank my leg out and the man who waved at the driver helped me to stand. They lifted me onto the train.

No one gave up a seat.

I made it to work.

My entire leg is bruised. My jeans are ripped. It was a good thing I was wearing thick jeans because they caught the brunt of the damage.

It was one of the most terrifying experiences because the train would have started moving if the doors had closed. And I would have lost my leg.

I'm still a little wound up about it. I had less than an hour from the time it happened to having to teach. I took some paracetamol and taught. I was a little spacey though.

Anyway I'm glad I am totally bruised and sore rather than missing a leg.

Apparently I was in Quebec ten days ago and I spent $2290. That's funny because I distinctly remember being here, in London, at this very desk. In fact, the Home Office has had my passport since 20 January so I'm not sure how I managed to leave this country, enter another country and get back into the UK. I am amazing. Apparently I also have a lot of shiny new electronics and $1300 of stuff from Sears.

Only I didn't leave the country. I didn't go shopping. I don't have new electronics or anything from Sears. I do have another headache though.

I am poorly again. It's another cold and sore throat. It's been happening every 4 weeks for more than 6 months. I get sick right before my period. Yes, that means I have pms with a bad cold every month. Typically I get so sick that I have to miss at least a half day of work. It sucks. I take vitamins, I exercise, etc and I still have a substandard immune system.

I couldn't go for a run tonight. I can hardly breathe and I was just like whatever. Plus, I couldn't get my gait analysis on Friday night (the bus was diverted and I spent an hour on it for no reason) and I know that I am wearing the wrong trainers for serious running. Instead of running, I ended up cycling 51km and then lifting weights.

Don't worry. Sometimes I don't understand myself either.

My stomach is growling but I am too tired/hungry to bother to leave the office and prowl around the neighbourhood in search of food.

My thesis file is open. Everything is there.

***
It is printing!

Tomorrow morning I am getting the forms signed and the copies printed and bound.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I would love a version of this dress:
http://www.britneyspears.com/2009/01/exclusive-britney-and-boys-before-bryans-wedding.php?bfm_index=8&bfm_page=0

Sears had a huge sale on fragrances before Christmas. The stock that was impossible to sell was 50-75% off. My mom was looking for stocking stuffers and had me go through them for about 25 minutes until I a) could not smell anything and b) found the least offensive one. I ended up with Midnight Fantasy from Britney Spears. It was the best one, given the competition. I just opened it and sprayed some on. I smell like grape kool-aid. This is the most unsexy fragrance in the entire world: I feel like I am 10 years old and have just arrived home from the swimming pool to be given an ice cold sugary drink.

My work email account is highly filtered. It's rare for spam to come through and even then there are two folders "probably spam" and "possibly spam" that catches everything. When spam does come through into one of those two folders, it tends to be very good.

This was from today:
Subject: One wife is not enough

I have One wife and two mistresses... I can fuck them all several timess per day!
YOU CAN TOO: CLICK HERE

Is my life today, and the race also in which i prefer to
a good house, a decent equipage, and the errors and corruptions
of the romanists, without thou know, o brahmana that this
reward which is of a sacrifice, sarasvati, o king, appeared
there,.

I posted this on facebook and promptly ripped it off.

First it was Chris Keller, the bisexual sociopath in Oz. Oh sure he was a serial killer and yeah he might have broken Beecher's arms, but there was something compelling and dangerously sexy about his character. Even Sister Peter Marie saw it: she almost left the sisterhood because of her impure thoughts about him. At least I wasn't alone with the Keller love, Sister Pete felt it, Beecher was destroyed by it.

After Keller, it was Bill Hendrickson in Big Love. So what if he was a Mormon who thought that three wives would get him into the magical kingdom, everyone's got some quirk. At least he wasn't a sociopath like Keller. He was a good, upstanding, moral... Mormon. I had to stop watching the show: the Mormonism was too much. I mean, if only he would have been a bisexual sociopath, that I could have dealt with.

Tony Soprano. I don't know how this happened, I really don't. He repulsed me at the beginning, but around the time when he stole Melfi's car, had the brakes fixed and then returned the car all without her knowledge, I started to warm to him. I tried my best to suppress it. He was an unattractive gangster but, even though he killed his friends if he need to, he also ran his life via a strict moral code. He had conviction, I like that. It was fine. I didn't think about it until I started having dreams that should best go unsaid. No one should ever dream that they are Jennifer Melfi. Fucking subconscious. The dreams stopped once I stopped watching the show and now I am too scared to finish the series.

But, oh, Jimmy McNulty from The Wire. Like the others he is so tragically flawed. Like the others he lives by an ultimately self-destructive moral code. He is the prototype for the HBO man that I love. But like only Keller he combines his with near physical perfection. Jimmy, I hope you don't mind all of the naughty things that you and Stringer Bell get up to in my head. I promise, you'd like it. Even Omar thinks you would and he's often there, watching.

Updated about a minute ago

I cannot get Womanizer out of my head.

They play it at the gym ALL of the time. It comes into my head when I am trying to sleep, in the middle of meetings, while I am eating and, really, I don't know if it is played all of the time at the gym or if it plays all of the time *in my head* while I am at the gym.

Womanizer
Woman-Womanizer
You're a womanizer
Oh Womanizer
Oh You're a Womanizer Baby
You, You You Are
You, You You Are
Womanizer, Womanizer, Womanizer

Boy don't try to front I (I) know just (just) what you are (are are)
Boy don't try to front I (I) know just (just) what you are (are are)

You Got Me Goin'
You're Oh-So Charmin'
But I can't do it
U Womanizer

Boy don't try to front I (I) know just (just) what you are (are are)
Boy don't try to front I (I) know just (just) what you are (are are)

On my way return to London last Christmas I bought a fragrance at the dutyfree cosmetics counter in Toronto that I really loved. It's Lancome's Benghal. It's hard to find but really beautiful. It's a nice mixture of spicy and fruity. For the first time in my life, I actually finished the entire bottle. I thought about buying some more. I'm currently bidding on some on ebay but I just won a bottle of Armani's Sensi on ebay. Again, it's one of those spicy/ sweet combination scents but a little more feminine than the Lancome. I'm happy about the win because it's even harder to find. There are rumours circulating that both fragrances are discontinued.

I'm gonna smell so sexy and good.

ps. Is anyone else allergic to Clinque's Happy range? If I come within about 2 metres of it, I am immediately sneezing and watery eyed.

t_family_01@yahoo.co.uk wrote:

Hello Dear Friend,

My name is Miss Tina Fatiga, How are you? Hope you are fine and in
perfect condition of health.

I am a 23yr , i consider myself to be sincere,romantic, kind and
friendly came online to search for a mature man that understand what
true-love, friendship and life is all about like your profile on this
site and will like to establish a serious relationship with you and
also to help me invest the sun of 4.5Million Dollars America ) your
country because after going through your profile in this site, i
picked interest in you and i believe that you will not turn my
interest down.

In addition, you can get back to enable us discuss further and get to
know each other better on how to proceed.
A waiting to hear from you, to you my love and prayers.
My regards
Miss Tina Fatiga